- Who was the first president of the United States?
- Oprah! - George washington.
[dings] [applause]
- What is the capital of alaska?
- New york! - Juneau.
- How many sides are on a triangle?
- 8! No, 4! No, 8!
- 3. [dings]
- Name an ingredient in spaghetti and meatballs.
- Oranges! - Meatballs.
- You've just won a million dollars!
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah-- [cheering]
- How is it that that dummy won a million dollars
And I've never won anything?
- Oh, I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
- It'd better be, because I don't want to end up
A bitter, jealous person.
Say, I should go on a game show!
- What game show are you qualified for?
- Uh, "wheel of words"?
- You don't know how to spell.
- How about "price is correct"?
- How much do you think this pack of gum sells for?
- $33,000?
- Good luck with that. [clicks]
- Stay tuned for the new game show "besties,"
Where knowing all about your best friend leads to big prizes.
- [gasps] we should go on that.
We've been best friends forever.
We know everything there is to know about each other.
- I never thought I would say this,
But that's not a bad idea, daffy duck.
- Why, thank you, bugs...
Uh...
I want to say, uh, bada-bling?
Captioning made possible by warner bros. Animation
[distant dog barking]
- I did it! I got us on tomorrow's episode of "besties!"
- How'd you manage that?
- There are some things you shouldn't know about me.
But you better know everything else!
- I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.
- I know everything about you.
Hit me with some questions. Go ahead.
- All right. What's my favorite color?
- Pass.
- What time do I go to bed at night?
- Pass. Give me something easy.
- Fine. When's my birthday?
- Janu...
Febr...
Septem...
December...
Jul--
July! July first.
July second. July third. July fourth.
Fifth! Sixth! Seventh! Eighth! Ninth! Tenth!
- 27th. - July 27th!
Well, happy extremely belated birthday,
Or... [whirring]
- Happy extremely early birthday.
[screams] - hey, speedy.
- Hola, bugs.
- You said you took care of the rat problem.
- I'm not a rat. I'm a mouse.
[door opens and shuts]
- You don't know anything about me.
I bet if you look "self-absorbed" up in the dictionary,
You'd find your picture.
- My picture's in the dictionary?
Is it a good one? What am I wearing?
Does my beak look big?
Aha. Gotcha!
- This is hopeless.
- Don't get mad at me.
Those questions were impossible.
I bet you don't know when my birthday is.
- Your birthday is April 17th.
Your favorite color is dusty rose,
And you go to bed every night at 10:00
Except on new year's eve,
When you go to bed at 8:30 because, and I quote,
"new year's is a holiday invented by the media."
- It is! - Forget it.
Find a different best friend to go on that show.
- But I need you!
I prize prizes above all else.
This is my shot at finally winning something.
I'll do anything!
- Even if it means focusing on someone other than yourself
For more than 2 minutes?
- That sounds awful.
But I'll do it.
- [new England accent] well, daffy,
You know how I hate to talk about myself,
But leave us turn back the clock.
It was on the east side of new york
Where me parents resided amidst humble surroundings.
- [snoring]
- [normal voice] did I say new york?
I meant the planet krypton.
- [grunts]
- Anywho, my parents knew that our planet was doomed.
[orchestra performing "superman theme"]
- So my father, jor-el...
Built this spaceship.
- His dense molecular structure will make him strong.
He'll be fast--
Virtually invulnerable,
And he'll say "what's up, doc?" indiscriminately,
Whether he's speaking to a doctor or not.
You will travel far, my little bugs.
But we will never leave you.
- You're from the planet krypton?
- No, you maroon!
That's the story of superman.
- Who is superman?
- I can't believe I hitched my wagon to you.
- You have a wagon?
- Daffy! Concentrate!
On me! - Oh! Sorry, superman.
- [groans] this is going to be a long night.
- And now, here's your host reswith the most,!
Chuck berost!
[cheering and applause]
- Hey, thanks, everybody!
Let's meet our contestants.
First up, bugs bunny and daffy duck.
- What's up, doc?
- It's a pleasure to be here, chuck.
I'm a big fan.
- Tell me, how long have you two known each other?
- 17 years. - 5 years.
- Looks like you two better get on the same page.
[laughter] and now, let's meet your challengers.
- Hello. - Hello.
- Oh, I'm sorry. After you.
- Oh, no, after you. - No, after you. I insist.
- I insist more. - I have an idea.
- Oh, you always have good ideas.
I can hardly wait to hear.
- Well, you won't have to wait. I'm about to tell you.
- Oh, goody. - My idea is that
We both speak simultaneously.
- Wonderful idea!
Both: Hello.
- Bugs and daffy, looks like you've got some stiff competition.
- Ok. Here's the first question.
What is your roommate's favorite vegetable?
- Your favorite vegetable.
Hmm. I'm going to go with beets, chuck.
[buzzer] - ohh!
- Uh-oh. The correct answer was carrots.
You know what that means!
- [laughter]
- Challengers?
- Your favorite vegetable?
Well, I know he loves cauliflower.
- Guilty! I do love cauliflower.
- But he has been known to ask for seconds
When I make sweet potatoes. [indistinct]
- You must try his sweet potatoes. They are divine.
- But if I had to pick his favorite vegetable,
I would have to say pureed butternut squash in a balsamic reduction
With just a hint of clover.
- That's correct!
[applause] [dings]
- I knew you'd get that right!
- Well, I knew that you knew I'd get that right!
[laughter]
- Next question.
What is your best friend's middle name?
- [giggles] that's an easy one. Sheldon.
[buzzer] - aww!
[laughter]
- Armando?
- You know what that means!
- [laughter]
- Bugs and daffy, you've got some catching up to do.
And you're going to have a chance after the break.
[cheering and applause] [theme music plays]
- Daffy, your middle name is sheldon.
- That may be true, but armando sounds cooler.
- Well, do you want to sound cool,
Or do you want to win?
- I want to win! [gulps]
- Well, then, we need a new strategy.
In the next round, whatever you're about to say, say the opposite.
- That's a great idea!
I mean, that's a horrible idea.
[clicks]
- Hello, competitors. - Hello!
- We wanted to wish you luck.
- Thanks.
- Don't you want to wish us luck?
- Not particularly.
- I'll wish you luck. - Why, thank you.
And good luck to you as well.
- [laughter] [applause]
[theme music plays]
- Welcome back to "besties,"
The show about best friends.
- Remember, say the opposite.
[clicks]
- Tell me, who does your best friend most admire?
- I want to say me, but I guess I'll go with...
Groucho marx?
[dings] [applause]
- That's correct!
- I was going to say "take your daughter to work day,"
But instead, I'll say "thanksgiving"?
[dings] - correct!
[applause]
- Everything in me is saying rockabilly,
But I'll go with smooth jazz.
[dings] [applause]
- Correct!
[cheers]
- My gut says chocolate milk,
But I'm going to go with australia.
[dings] [applause]
- Correct!
- [cheers]
- This final question is worth 300 points.
What is your best friend's catch phrase?
- If friends were flowers, I'd pick you?
[buzzer] - ohh!
- No, no. It's "laugh, and the world laughs with you."
- Aww.
- Uh-oh! You know what that means!
[laughter] - ooh! Feathers!
- Oh, what fun! It's like a pillow fight!
- [laughing and talking indistinctly]
- Bugs and daffy, now you have a chance to win.
Daffy, what is bugs bunny's catchphrase?
- Hmm. Think. Catchphrase.
- Really? I say it all the time.
- I know this. I know this.
- It's sort of my go-to phrase.
- It's right on the tip of my tongue.
- It's in the form of a question.
I say it with a lot of sarcasm.
Ehh...
- I don't do mondays!
- Aww! - Ooh, I'm sorry!
We were looking for "what's up, doc?"
And... Say it with me.
- You know what that means!
- [scattered murmuring]
[cheering and laughter]
- That means you're our winners!
Gene, tell 'em what they won!
- A fabulous cruise!
- A cruise? [laughs] how exciting!
We've always wanted to go on a cruise!
[muffled music plays]
- That's your catchphrase? "what's up, doc?"
What does that even mean? We don't even know any doctors.
[thumping] - ow! Ooh!
Who's doing that?
Ow! Oof! Oh! [grunting]
- "what's up, doc?" terrible.
Just the world's worst catchphrase.
And I don't remember you ever saying it. Say it.
- What's up, doc?
- Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.
But it sure cost us the game.
- What cost us the game was going on a game show about best friends
When it's obvious that we're not.
- You're saying I'm not your best friend?
Why? Because I don't know anything about you?
Because I never ask any questions
Or show any interest in you?
Because I take you for granted?
Because if it is, that's awfully petty of you.
- My best friend would probably know that I like carrots.
He would most likely know my birthday,
And he would definitely know my last name.
And for the record,
I would have loved to have won a cruise.
And that is what's up, doc.
- That still doesn't sound right.
[birds singing and distant dog barking]
- Well. If he's not going to open the door for me,
I guess I'll just let myself out.
Oh. So I guess I also have to make my own breakfast?
I guess I have to peel my own banana, too.
- Hey, that's my banana! - [gasps] a rat!
- For the last time, man, I'm a mouse!
- Bugs, help!
- Why should he help you?
You didn't help him on that game show last night.
You know, you'd think you'd show seņor bunny a little more respect,
Considering he lets you live here.
- I don't live here.
I'm just crashing here until I get back on my feet.
- Fyi, when you crash somewhere for 5 years,
You live there. All right?
You're not a best friend. You're a terrible friend.
- Why am I a terrible friend?
- Let me answer that question with a question.
[chomps]
How many friends do you have besides seņor bunny?
- Well, let's see. You?
- I'm not your friend. - Ok, then.
There's that guy that comes over once a week,
And we hang out by the pool.
I think his name is fong or trang.
- Are you talking about the guy who comes to clean the pool? [indistinct]
You're kidding yourself, man.
Seņor bunny is your only friend.
If you're not careful, soon, you'll have no friends.
- Who needs friends? - I'll tell you who--
Someone with no girlfriend, no job, no credit,
No hobbies, no social skills...
- Wait. I think I know someone like that. Daniel?
- No, idiot. You.
You're nothing without seņor bunny.
- Then what do I do?
- You got to try harder to be his friend.
- Like, how much harder? Two percent?
- More. - Five percent?
- More. - Seven percent?
Are you out of your mind?
- 100%.
- What? No one can give 100!
It's physically impossible!
- You got to dig deep.
You got to go to the place inside you where you've never been.
- My soul?
- You need to have a soul in order to go there.
No, no, no. I'm talking about in here.
Now, try.
- [gasps]
[grunts]
Ugh. That's good enough, right?
- No. Look at me.
You can do this. Now, try.
- [gasps and grunts] - harder!
- [grunting continues]
It hurts! - Harder!
- I'm dying!
- No! You're trying!
- [grunting]
I'm going to be the best best friend
That any best friend has ever had!
[laughing]
- Uh-oh.
- You can open your eyes now, best friend.
- Huh? [foghorn]
- Guess what? I got you the cruise you wanted!
- The one from the game show?
- Surprised? Well, you shouldn't be.
It's just what one best friend would do for another best friend.
[salsa music playing] [sea gulls crying]
- Who knew cruising could be so much fun?
- I cannot remember the last time I had this much fun.
- Hey, do you think it's possible to have too much fun?
- Hmm! Interesting question.
I guess there's only one way to find out.
- Oh? And what might that be? - Keep having fun!
- [both laugh] - game's over.
You've been hogging the court long enough.
- Oh, hello! - Fancy meeting you here!
- Move it along, gophers. It's my best friend's turn.
Hey, bugsy, old pal. A shuffle board court opened up!
- Daffy, I'm reading.
I don't want to play shuffleboard.
- Yeah, me neither.
[splashes]
- Hmmph! There's only one thing to do about that.
- Limbo contest on the leader deck?
- [both laugh]
[metal scraping]
[distant sea gulls cry]
- What's up, doc?
Oh, is that just your thing?
I don't want to step on any toes.
[smooth jazz music playing]
- Smooth jazz. I know it's your favorite.
- Do you mind?
- You done with that page?
Just let me know when you're done.
I'll flip it when you're done.
Done yet? Done yet?
Aah! [music stops]
- I'll save your place!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Carrot?
I know they're your favorite! [grunts]
[toots] - aah!
- Happy 189 days until your birthday!
[toots]
- I just saw my life flash before my eyes.
- Ooh! Tell me all about it.
This time, I promise I'll listen.
- Daffy, you got to back off.
- Sure thing. This good?
- More. - This good?
Whoa! [banging]
[crashes] - yeah. That's good.
- Is everyone enjoying the cruise?
- Oh, indeed! It's our first one.
- And I must say, I'm a fan of cruising.
- Oh, yes. We're cruisers now.
[metal groans]
- Excuse me. Excuse me pardon me. Excuse me. Coming through.
[metal groaning and dishes clanking]
- I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I brought you everything.
- [giggles]
- Get your own buffet. This one's for my best friend.
- [crying]
- Daffy, you're embarrassing me.
[clinks]
- I'd like to propose a toast
To the most important person on this ship.
Sit down, you glorified bus driver.
Ahem. Ahem.
A rat once told me
That friendship takes a lot of effort,
But I'm not interested in friendship.
I'm interested in best friendship.
And best friendship takes a whole lot more.
It means waiting on your best friend hand and foot,
Buying their affection.
Robotically memorizing every trivial little fact about them.
- It means support them above all others.
- Possibly to the detriment of those others.
- Especially to the detriment of those others.
- Best friends have all of the same interests...
- Whether those interests are interesting or not.
- A best friend is someone you'd happily commit a crime for.
- Any crime! - No matter how heinous!
- The heinouser, the betterer.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not a best friend. That's a stalker.
Daffy, I know I said you weren't my best friend,
But after these past few days,
Seeing all the effort you've put in,
Seeing how hard you've tried, I have to say...
You got to stop trying. - What?
- It's not your thing.
Would it be nice if you remembered the occasional birthday
Or food I'm highly allergic to? Sure.
But not if it means we turn into those guys.
- No offense. Both: None taken.
- Daffy, you're a mean spirited, self-absorbed,
Disturbed little weirdo.
But for whatever reason, you're my best friend.
- Ooh! [applause]
[murmuring]
- You're my best friend, too, bugs bada-blingya.
- Ehh. Good enough.
[foghorn] [sea gulls crying]
- Seriously, how did you pay for all this?
- I used your credit card. I memorized the number.
Hey! I do know something about you!
They could have asked me that on the game show!
It's 9481, 6400,
28-- [grunting]
[muffled talking]
Subs straight from CC